Hitting, biting or other forms of aggression are a normal part of toddler development. Toddlers are learning so much about the world around them, which can be a confusing place. Their still-developing language and emotional regulation skills make hitting and biting an easy way for toddlers to react to a situation. When our child hits or bites it’s easy for us as parents or caregivers to get angry and punish the child without thinking about why it happened.

Toddlers get frustrated, just like adults do. As adults, we’ve had time to learn how to respond to frustration (or other emotions) in a way that doesn’t hurt ourselves or others. Toddlers need your help to learn how to do this. They don’t have the necessary language, social or emotional regulation skills to rely on when the world overwhelms them.

When a toddler is aggressive, the first thing to do is calm ourselves. This way we help keep the situation from becoming even more intense for the child.

It is also a good idea to make these situations about learning. We need to teach children what to do, not just what not to do.

By explaining that hitting (or other type of aggression) is not an okay response and then practicing what is okay, we are helping the child learn how to make better choices in the future.

Part of this is also letting the toddler know what to expect if she does choose to repeat the aggressive behavior. Perhaps she will get a time-out or have a toy taken away for the day.